I Don't know..

I don’t know… that seems to be my answer for everything these days. I really don’t know. I wish I did. I think everyone of us here has heard that line “most men didn’t know what they wanted to do in their life till they were 40”. I don’t want to be 40 when I figure out what I want to do.

Not getting into the IIM’s is probably a good thing… I’m being forced to re-evaluate my life and for once actually make an informed decision. I’ve gone thru life taking things as they come, never making my own decisions. After SSC, I had good marks in math and science... Next ‘logical’ step was Science stream in college. For 2 years, I was making friends and giving exams for the sole purpose of passing them and not actually seeing them as more than just obstacles (I think majority of our population sees exams as obstacles to be surpassed, not as tools to help you get further, which is the sad state of the education system). After HSC, I KNEW I didn’t want to become a doctor, I KNEW I didn’t want to become an engineer, I KNEW what I DIDN’T WANT to be. I just didn’t know what I WANTED to be. So then again, B.Sc. was the next ‘logical’ step.

In the beginning, wanting to do my MBA was also was a part of my ‘take the next logical step’ plan. I knew I could crack the CAT or at least get a decent enough score to get into a reputed college. Imagine, wanting to do something not because I wanted to do it but purely because I knew I could crack the entrance exam. I didn’t even have clue what doing an MBA course even meant. Of course, after I started working and I had responsibilities of a Jr. manager, I realized what being a manager was about, but of course I still didn’t know if it was for me. I could do the job, no doubt about that, but was it something I saw myself doing 5 years down the line… 10 years down the line… 20 years down the line??

I don’t know

I don’t know

I DON’T KNOW….