*** Poll ****

OK guys i wanna know how bad we all are writing here.

Just vote for what you like the most.

1.The Fabulous Soaps On Indian Telly! - Wisedonkay.
2.I Protest - Sir.Zombie
3. Aree Ham Kabse Kah Rahe The Ki Daag Achee Hai -Lallu Prasad Yadav.
4.Are U A Mallu THENDI????........ I AM - Sir.Zombie
5.Soaps on Indian Telly Part II - Sir.Zombie

No Cussin allowed.
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The Gangue Team Crew.

Guess Who--------->

Posts Vanish Into Thin Air.


Well Not exactly... i've kept them at another blog... my archives
www.szarchives.blogspot.com for viewing later.
The whole blog on religion is shifted there.Becuz i was getting too many ads on Angel Guides and God.KindaCreepy.
Oh and click the ads on the archive page too!

Sir.Zombie

Soaps on Indian Telly Part II

Mumbai, Some godforsaken mallu home.
21.00 Hrs.

Another shit soap by Ekta Kapoor.(BITCH)

Dad is sitting on the laptop. Mum switches on the T.V. He flinches. It's that time again. He goes in to see what his eldest son is doin. Rock Music. Oh well i bet klash-bang-klang-bang is better than Kittu Sab Janti Hai.( Kittu Knows Everything)
[Ha bet she does, bitch can't decide whether she has to get married and make life hell or get to work,get molested and make life hell]
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There she is Kittu(what kinda name is kittu? Who name their kid Kittu? Heck did her parents hate her when she was born or sommit?)
Scene at home.
Kittu is on the phone with her boyfriend.
Kittu : Raj will you meet me today after work?
Raj : Kyon Nahi Kyon Nahi.......theatre mein tanatan nau se baara phillum lagi hai 'Roshni Ki Jawani' aati kya
Kittu : Oh dahling really?
Raj : Sachi! Uske baad we'll go and eat phalooda frm the roadside ice cream wala.
Kittu : Oh i love you soooo much!!! (oh bother)
Raj :Hamesha bolti ho I love you kabhi kuch kar ke bhi to dikhao
Kittu: Nahi Raj mummy naa bolti hai!!
Raj: Teri Maa Kaa!
Kittu: Slaps Raj Thru the fone (thrice)

Scene#2 at work.

Kittu : Sir I finished editing the report on .................
Her boss as usual tries to flirt with her and wants to sleep with her. ( according to Exta Kapoor all the Bosses are trying to have sex with a female collegue everyday)
Kittu being the Bhartiya Nari( no fellow mallu thendi's this aint in malayalam) refuses polietly.
Mom is complaning to dad about how the Corp world works now. Dad couldn't care less. 3/4 of the women collegues where he works are gay and the rest are just ugly. Youngest son tries to change the channel. Mom slaps him again. Dad opens his mouth to protest only to get a * dont-gimme-that-shit* look. Dad gives up.
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Kittu is going back home with her Boyfriend ..... but unfortunately they are having a big argument about what is more important to her in life.

Kittu : Of course I love you darling [plays with her hair. This gets quite irritating when you can actually count the dandruff falling off]
Raj: No you dont.... YOu ... you ( this guy cant act for nuts ) [ frustrated cuz he cant act for nuts]
you have to decide right now. [ crappy music]
Kittu : Decide what? [ more crappy music]
Raj : What is more imp. Me or your job!
[ MORE CRAPPY MUSIC WITH KITTU LOOKING IN HORROR IN SLOW MO -X4 times]
She cant answer so she goes home crying to mommieeeee..
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Back at home mom is crying in front of the T.V
End of episode-34.

Mom is sobbin and goes to switch to Kohinoor! ( a legendary search for the Kohinoor Diamond in India)(Ekta Kapoor claims that The Kohinoor Diamond is still in India.And the one that the Brits have is a fake)
[ yeah rite and the Amerikans Landed on the moon.]

Oh brother!

Sir.Zombie


The Fabulous Soaps On Indian Telly!

Dateline...............8.00 pm
Its a normal Indian household.........kids sittin in front of TV watchin crap........Mom yellin at them to do their homework.........dad chillin with a newspaper..............and then it happens.................moms favorite daily soap starts.....
all hell breaks loose...............mom,dad,kids hell even the family dog wants the remote.............finally after a few hard belan shots mom gets the remote and everyone sits down with their tails between their legs.............

Enter the Indian TV Bahu Decked up with 5 kgs of make up,jewellery and designer saree included........someone in the family has just met with an accident..........the bahu cries buckets of tears (plz note tht her eye liner,mascara et al are still in place)
One by one she tells everyone in the house abt the accident..........they give shocked cum constipated looks of disbelief at the camera ( every expression shown thrice in slo-mo). the whole motley crew rushes to the hospital to check on their loved one..........(Mee Mumbaikar Mee Marathoner)
everyone in the family (rite frm the gardener to the kaamvali bai) gangs up on the doctor.....
The doctor (who is a junior artist in a lab coat) says something to this effect, "Mubarak ho ladka hua hai!!"
at this point of time the whole cast displays an array of constipated,wooden yet heart-rending and mind-bending expressions...........
Suddenly the script writer hurls the correct dialogue sheet at the "Doctor" the doctor then apologizes for his folly and says, "oh maaf kijiye ga.......tht was the last episodes lines........Oh yes.....heres my line for the day................Unhe dava ki nahi dua ki zaroorat hai".
the bahu gives out a banshee scream......................"Naheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"
theres thunder and lightining in the background score (Mom watchin the serial at home starts praying for the beloved character............the kids yell , "Change the stupid channel ma....." 2 tight slaps later they quieten..........even dad silently gives in )
the whole cast rushes to the ward where the 'accident victim' is as if its a stall at a carnival............only to realise tht their loved one aint even there.
Suddenly they all realise............wait a sec our son lives in the USA!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>The End<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Another quality daily soap by ekta kapoor (boo hoo hoo wasnt it touchin)


Aree Ham Kabse Kah Rahe The Ki Daag Achee Hai -Lallu Prasad Yadav.

Bihar Driving License... -Lallu Prasad Yadav.
======================================
=============================
" DERIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM "--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------
NOTE: Please do not soot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen. If you dot know how to fill ,copy from your phriend (dost) applikason. For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.

1. Last name: (_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dont no (Check karet box)
2. Phust name: (_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dont no (Check karet box)
3. Age: (_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dont no (Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
6.Occupason: (_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelw! aan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed (Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yourj: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leab! e blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest kilass attended)
12. Dental Rekard: (_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color (Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson : ____________________________ (If you are copy! ing from another applikason pharom, pleaje do not copy thumb impression also. Pleaje provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEAJE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have le pht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand. NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DERIVE. WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS.
Sir.Zombie

Are U A Mallu THENDI????........ I AM

An educational and inspiring guide on how to name your kids as if you are a Mallu Christian.
Statutory Warning : If you are not South Indian it might be pointless reading further.
Extra Statutory Warning : If you are a Mallu with the pride of Kerala in your loins, DO NOT read any further. It has been a well kept secret for eons, shrouded in mystery and a maze of deceit, but finally Itty Boben Jacob Elias Kuruvilla from Pazhookaville, near Kottarothumailill, Thelmasherry, Kerala, has consented to let us publish this classified Mallu formula, never put in print before and only passed on from generation to generation by word of mouth to guarantee exclusivity, on the naming of Mallu Christian kids.

Guidelines go as follows :

1. Select a combination of the mother's and father's names. eg: Suresh and Gina = Suji or Joseph and Beena = Jobi.
2. The addition of a 'mon' (meaning son) or 'mol' (meaning daughter) is optional. eg: Sujimol, Jobimon.
3. To attach a modern anglicised feel to the names, the mol or mon can be replaced with boy or girl. eg: Jobiboy, Sushagirl.
4. For the politically correct Keralite family, mol and mon can be replaced by the universal 'Kutty' (child), which can be used for both boys and girls eg: Jokutty, Susikutty.
5. Even parents having combination names themselves can still give their children suitable names eg: Libi and Jobi = Lijo.
6. However, in the scenario where the parents already have combination names that cannot form more comprehensible names eg: Itty and Amukutty, would produce only Itam (which doesn't even sound like a name) or Amit (which is too Northie sounding and stuff!!), then < /DIV>

a) Use an English word like Baby, Merry, Titty, Pearly, Brighty, Smiley, Anarchy, etc.
b) Use a combination of two English names that you think sound cool (but never cool enough) like Meredith + Gina = Megi,
or Sharon + Darlene = Sharlene.

c) Use a name from the Bible (and not Nebuchadnezzar! Use one that even Velliammachi can pronounce) like Jacob, Sam, John,
Joseph, Mathew, or Jijo!

d) Use a name that sounds like a cuss word but isn't. eg: Boben, Prussy, Shagi, JustinTimberlake etc.
Note: The use of the letter 'j' is useful in the naming of siblings where names that sound alike are a novelty. Eg: Ajji, Sajji, Majji, Bhajji and Nimajji, or Sijo, Lijo, Jijo, Anjo, Panjo, Banjo.
Not too complicated really, once you get the hang of it…
An afterthought:
Q: What do you call a Mallu kid who sticks his nose into other people's business?A: Pokemon