TRUST

'Is it you,
Is it me,
Is it us,
Or is it TRUST!'
Adema - Trust

Trust - its something that matters a lot in life. We need to trust so many things; trust our abilities, trust family, trust friends, trust your lovers/spouses , trust co-workers, trust the government, trust the premordial goodness of people......and TRUST GOD!
Trust implies fully believing in somebody/something without a shadow of a doubt. And well its a two way process. Part one, you need to be willing to trust others and part two others should be trustworthy and live up to your trust. These two parts dont come one after the other, they co-exist, if one part is missing than the other is pointless.
I could be the most trustworthy person out there, but if you choose not to trust me, then its just not gonna work. Similarly, I can put all my trust in you, but if you dont live upto my trust, a problem arises again. All of us have been guilty of either one or both of these things.
Let's first look at whether we want to trust in the first place...
Okay firstly we need food, so we need to trust the fact that food is out there, we need sleep, so we need to sure that there is no danger around so we can go to sleep, we need sex and that should ideally involve having to love and trust a person too. We need affiliation, which would imply having that one person who you can trust come what may. We need social acceptance, so at some point we need to trust other people in society. We also need knowledge, so we need to trust the source of our information. When it comes to religion, we need to trust that God is always there for us and everything happens for the best. And finally, if we cannot trust anybody/anything, we would go insane for sure. Take my word on that.
So I can say with some degree of certainty that Yes, we as humans want to TRUST....

The second part however is the tricky one. Trusting is risky, we need to know who to trust, how much to trust them etc. Human beings have been screwed over so many times that trusting is a tough job indeed. Theres suffering all over the world, so one finds it hard to trust GOD. There's poverty, unemployment, corruption and what nots, so we cannot trust the system. Theres adulteration of food, so we cant even trust foodstuffs now. We have family members killing each other and screwing each other over, add that to the list as well. Did I mention divorces, extramarital affairs, cheating on your partner, lying,stealing, back stabbing and the likes...
Well you get the picture, right?

'Sometimes I feel like I trusted you too well,
Sometimes I feel like just screaming at myself,
Sometimes I'm in disbelief I didnt know,
Sometimes I need to be alone....'
Linkin Park - Don't Stay

I am at a point in my life where I dont know who or what to trust. I maybe pessimistic, but believe me, I have reasons to be so. I wish I could trust someone enough to tell them all that was going on, but when your deepest beliefs are shaken to the core, you cant really have faith in anyone.

"I know it's hard to keep an open heart; When even friends seem out to harm you.."
Guns N' Roses - November Rain

Dont ask me what's up, I wont tell. I wish I could, but I just cant. Dont take this personally if you're reading this, I'll tell you when I feel it's time.
All I know right now is that writing helps me feel better, and right now it sure is helping. I dont know if everything happens for the best, but I do know everything happens for a reason. Right now, I dont know whats going on and I dont know the reason either. I want the truth, but I dont know if I can take it.....

'If I gave you the truth would it keep you alive'
Seether - Truth

I know I have friends who will help me out through tough times. I know my family will too. I know God's looking out for me too. I know I need to be strong, but on days like these, it just gets too hard.
I want to trust, I want to believe, I want to put my faith in other people, just dont let me down, thats all I ask. The only one I trust right now is God: God whose always been there and always will......

'Daddy here I am again,
Will you take me back tonight?
I went and made the world my friend
And it left me high and dry'
Casting Crowns - Prodigal

With this I end, hoping tomorrow will make things better, because at the end of the day, its hope that keeps me going on....

Just another post....

Im bored, tired, world weary and sleepless. I'm not in the festive mood at all. I wasnt excited about Diwali approaching either like every year. Not depressed or anything, just saying that I didnt feel the kind of child like excitement we used to have as kids. Maybe it's bcoz all my cousins are either abroad or caught up in their own thing. Life........kya bolega, gotta take it as it comes.
Missing the daily grind now, atleast I wasnt idle during college times. Thats what I need activity, something to keep my brain occupied, distracted, whatever.
Theres lots going on which I choose not to post. Kind of surreal, but well it's still all fact. The past seems to be my solace and the cause of my troubles from time to time. The future is just blurry. Wish life was like the movie "Click", you could just fast forward some parts and go back to the good ones as u wished. But Im not signing a pact with ol' Morty anytime soon.
Wanna take some time out to thank everyone who's been kind enough to hear me out when I needed them. Feel fortunate that atleast I'm not alone.
Dont worry about me, there's someone looking out for me who's got something in mind which I will know pretty soon. Thank you for everything Ive been fortunate enough to recieve, and yeah, help me keep things under control. Help me be humble enough to appreciate all that I recieve from you and from the people who come into my life through you and help me be strong to get through that which is not under my control.
Negativity is not something I want to hold on to. I may blow my top sometimes, but believe me when I say this, I dont want to be filled with anger and hatred towards anyone.
Though I may feel that life is sometimes unfair to me, I must also see that life has also given me more than I ever expected. As I commence another chapter in my life, I know you are with me just like you were at all times.
That very hope gets me through each new day and its challenges.
Life gives us situations, not options, and you walk with me every step of the way through each situation. Thank you for loving me, and thank you for teaching me how to love.
Sorry if this post is ambiguous, but then again arent all my posts like that?

To borrow Oscar's line

Its obvious ain't it?

Happy Birthday Chaddi


Well chaddi, Happy birthday (and one day), just wanna tell ya Im workin on something for you :-" so hold on tight.
Till then enjoy this pic :D

Twenty Years Young



Happy Birthday To Christine!

TYBA may have dampened CJ a bit, but on her day (or rather on my unlucky day), she can do dance numbers, item numbers, mehendi numbers, 'lauve' numbers, sad hindi songs etc etc. (Did I mention she does all the steps as well?), We keep makin fun of her braces time and again but in time she'll have a China doll face and we'll see who's laughing then!
But thats later, right now she still has the braces, so on her B'day lets release my very own version of 'I will survive', just for the 'little' birthday girl.......

'She might Survive' by ||PazzTheWiseDonkay||

(Piano Intro)

At First I was afraid,
I was petrified,
The dentist said my wisdom teeth
would never see daylight
He said, "It's time for action"
and did multiple extractions...
Oh my oh my,
This aint what I had in mind,

And now I cant
Show my face,
Who'd have thought
These ghastly braces
Wud be such disgrace

My pals laugh at me all day
And now they call me metal-mouth
Im waitin 4 that lovely day,
I get these ugly braces out,

Oh now go,
Walk out the door,
Get outta the house now,
I wont face you anymore,
I hope my braces are out by 29,
Before I crumble,
Before I lock myself and cry

Oh Jesus Christ,
Make my teeth fine,
Help me face them all,
Like a China doll
Come change my life,
I got chocolates to eat,
And Ive got bachelors to meet,
Please make them right,
Please make them right,
I Pray!

Well thats all I cud manage. I think I did a fairly good job. I hope you take it in good jest Chaddi, after all you love this song (well atleast u loved it when the turkey sang it!).
Anyways Happy Birthday Once again, and remember ure just as young either side of twenty. Hope you read this soon, and I DO WANT YOU TO SING THIS!

Lotsa Louve,
||PazzTheWiseDonkay||


















Oh by the way, here's a little something else we made for you......
Enjoy and just so you know by the time you read this it will be way too late for you to come and bash us up so hahaha (On a serious note we hope you take it in good spirit)


Embarassing Picture of Christine provided by Oscar, Boxer shorts pic courtesy google.com searched by Pazz and finally photoshopped by Binoy!

We are all in this together so if u wanna kill me kill them first! Mwah! Happy Birthday!

The Gangue Team Crew!